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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25626556">(You Can Give Me) All the Love that I Crave</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/'>Anonymous</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Queen (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Cuddling &amp; Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Friendship/Love, Gen, Hugs</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 09:42:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,534</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25626556</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>A series of oneshots telling the story of giving comfort between lifelong best friends.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Brian May &amp; Roger Taylor</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Anonymous</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Just needed to get this out of my system because we all want what they have. It's going to be sappy, fluffy, and cheesy, so sorry in advance for all that.</p><p>Historical accuracy not guaranteed and will most likely be compromised for creative liberty.</p><p>Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Smile disbands. It feels like the end of an era.</p><p>TW: vomiting, nothing graphic.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Brian doesn’t remember bursting out from the back door of the cheap pub, but he knows he is now stumbling around in a dark alley behind the pub as soon as he paid for his drinks. His blurred vision is making him dizzy and the stench is making his stomach churn even more.</p><p>He stops to lean on the wall when it gets too much. He tries to breathe deeply, tries to stop himself from throwing up the entire contents of his stomach. He already reeks of sweat and alcohol, it wouldn’t do to add the smell of vomit all over himself.</p><p>But what does it matter?</p><p>What does it matter, when Tim already decided to leave him and Roger in a drop of a hat? What does it matter, when he’s not good enough anymore in the eyes of his best friend, the one he started making music with and the one who assured him that his love for music is not for nothing?</p><p>Brian is hit again with a wave of helplessness and insecurity. They combine into massive wave of nausea, and this time it’s too powerful for him to fight.</p><p>He grabs the nearest wall to steady himself as he doubles over and gives in, throwing up much of what he drunk.</p><p>Brian only vaguely hears mumbled cursing and footsteps crunching towards his way. Soon, there was an arm carefully wrapping around his middle from behind and another coming up to brush his curls out of his face.</p><p>“<em>Shit</em> – Brimi, come on.”</p><p>Brian whimpers at the familiar voice. <em>Roger</em>, his mind helpfully supplies. The arm around him is trying to keep him upright, but every movement makes Brian feel like he’s spinning, so he crouches and sinks down to the dirty pavement, taking Roger down with him.</p><p>Roger doesn’t seem to mind, though, because soon he is rearranging their positions so Brian can sit and catch his breath.</p><p>His stomach doesn’t churn too violently anymore. Brian wipes his mouth with the back of his sleeve and croaks into his knees, “Thought you left.”</p><p>Brian doesn’t say if he means the lecture hall, where all three of them were earlier in the afternoon before Tim broke them up and Brian escaped to the pub, or the band, along with Tim because Brian can’t see any reason why Roger would stay with him now.</p><p>Roger sighs as he settles next to Brian and rubs his back, hoping to stop his shivering. “I was looking for you, idiot. You just up and left without telling me.”</p><p><em>I didn’t think I should</em>, Brian thinks miserably. <em>I didn’t think you’d bother.</em> In his drunken state of mind, however, Brian is still wise enough not to voice this out loud. Aside from realizing that these are just his own self-pitying thoughts, he knows Roger would be offended and angry, as his temper is a familiar part of their (<em>short, soon to end</em>, Brian thinks) friendship.</p><p>“Sorry,” Brian mutters. “How’d you know I was here?”</p><p>The gentle hand on his back pulled away and Brian can feel Roger’s glare burning into him. “Seriously? I’ve known you for two years and you didn’t think I’d know where you go to drink when you’re like this?”</p><p>Roger doesn’t sound too angry – doesn’t sound like he has the energy to be angry, after what happened – but he does sound a little hurt. So much for giving Roger enough credits for being a proper best friend.</p><p>“Sorry,” Brian whispers again, tries to put sincerity in it. “I didn’t think… ‘m sorry.”</p><p>Roger softens, perhaps he’s being too hard. It’s been hard for both of them, but even now he already knows how much this brings Brian down. He sets aside his own mess of emotions and does his best to soothe Brian. “It’s fine. We’ll be fine, Brimi, you’ll see.”</p><p>Brian scoffs doubtfully and lets his back slump against grimy wall without any care. It doesn’t matter. Nothing matters. He’s going to go back to his studies, a student no more special than the others. He’s going to come home to his parents and prove his father right. He’s going to lose this, lose–</p><p>“Hey,” Roger interrupts him – Brian is mortified to realize he just rambled all that out loud, though he doesn’t know if any of that sounded coherent – and scoots closer. “We’ll find someone new. Someone better. We’ll make something that sounds more like us!”</p><p>Brian blinks to process his words. “You… you want to continue?”</p><p>Roger feels his breath get caught, terrified that he’s misreading this the whole time. Suddenly he feels unwanted, worth nothing without their former bandmate, not good enough on his own.</p><p>“I mean – I’m…” Roger stutters. “I do, we’re – I want to… don’t you?” he says weakly.</p><p>“I do!” Brian exclaims and sits up suddenly, hands gripping Roger’s shoulders to shake that exposed, vulnerable look off his blonde friend. “Of course I do. I didn’t – I thought <em>you </em>didn’t – oh Rog.”</p><p>Brian hangs his head and giggles a little drunkenly at the situation. How foolish of him to think his best friend would easily let him go.</p><p><em>Not a far-fetched thought after Tim</em>, his own insecure mind offered, but it’s easier to ignore now, with Roger by his side looking as shattered as he would if he were to lose this… this <em>magic</em>.</p><p>Roger sags in relief and grins, his expression familiar and sunny. “You idiot,” he says again, slinging one of Brian’s arm over his own shoulders and doing the same to his friend, pressed side-by-side on the mucky pavement. “I’m in for as long as you want me.”</p><p>Brian gives him a sappy smile in return – how could he not, with Roger throwing around words like that so casually. He breathes a little easier, leaning into Roger without a weight on his chest.</p><p>Roger hums thoughtfully into the comfortable silence. “Freddie would be great.”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“I didn’t say this around Tim, but…”</p><p>“He always said he wanted to try with us.”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>Brian sighs almost dreamily, his head already filled with skillful melodies that would interlace perfectly with his guitar and Roger’s drum. There was no was escape from admiring Freddie, really, with that range of talent. It only makes sense and Roger agrees.</p><p>The future is finally looking a little brighter.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Brian made a life-changing decision.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Brian?”</p><p>The noise that is their daily band practice halts into silence. Brian enters the room sheepishly, closing the door behind him. Three pairs of eyes stare at him expectantly.</p><p>“Darling, where have you been?” Freddie asks, a touch upset but more concerned. “You’re nearly an hour late.”</p><p>Brian has never been late to band practice, save the one time he entirely forgets to bring his Old Lady with him and the one time he misread his teaching schedule after a night of getting completely wasted which resulted in a chaotic day that he doesn’t even want to recall.</p><p>This is a Tuesday, however, and Brian is supposed to have his entire day cleared. The boys know this, having effortlessly memorized each other’s schedule, which makes it easier to schedule their studies, their practice, and their nights out (or as Freddie calls it, bonding time).</p><p>Of course, Brian understands why Freddie would be upset. Studio slots at night time is precious to their debut album, which makes practice at day time even more crucial to get everything perfect lest they waste more hours without sleep fruitlessly in the studio.</p><p>“Let him explain at least, Freddie.” John throws Freddie a reprimanding glance, which Brian appreciates for its sentiment. Then again, looking at the latest member addition to their band, Brian is reminded of the gravity of what he had to do that day and feels his chest clench in anxiety.</p><p>He was so sure, honest to God – but now he isn’t anymore, and he can’t quite hear himself think past the stern voice of his father in his head…</p><p>“Brian?” Roger calls for his attention, firmly but without judgment, and Brian realizes he hasn’t actually said anything near an explanation ever since he entered the room.</p><p>Brian dares to look up to his three best friends and feels his breath shutter. What’s done is done, though, it’s not going change whether or not he says it out loud.</p><p>“I uh –” His voice wheezes slightly, so he clears his throat and tries again. “I had to drop by uni today, to see my professor. And…”</p><p>Freddie and John waits, but Roger looks like he’s catching on, because Brian’s been bouncing these torturous thoughts off him for weeks and weeks, and the look on Roger’s face twists into something like sympathy.</p><p>“I had to go see him and give him a letter, to–” Brian pauses to take a breath. “A letter, to postpone my studies indefinitely, and to focus on a much bigger priority.”</p><p>Freddie looks at him wide-eyed with something like wonder and John stares at him as if he just grew a second head. They don’t have words, all three of them, for what Brian had just given up in faith of the band, of Queen, of his best friends. Now all the doors seem to have opened wider and the possibilities have just become endless.</p><p>Roger is the first to cross the room in three quick strides and flings himself towards their tall guitarist. Brian, out of instinct and a deep buried need for comfort and assurance, is quick to wrap his arms around Roger’s waist and hide his face in the long blond locks.</p><p>“You won’t regret it,” Roger mutters into Brian’s shirt, the words echoing what he’s been repeating to Brian in the last few weeks. “We’ll be great, I promise. I promise.”</p><p>Brian swallows and nods against Roger’s hair, feeling whatever that remains of his panic dissolve into weightless warmth. He feels Roger smiling against his shirt, the bubbling excitement making him huff and hold onto Brian a little tighter. Brian sinks in the feeling of gratitude of having him, having a best friend not only to share his frustrations but also to seek comfort from. </p><p>Freddie’s hands are suddenly on both of Brian’s shoulders – as always, not wanting to miss out on such display of joy and affection – and Brian looks up to find Freddie glowing with confidence. “Is this what’s been eating you up all week? Have you been worrying your poor little curls off over this? Oh, Brimi,” Freddie says fondly, pressing against the other two and effectively turning it into a group hug. “My darling, we’re going to rule the world, now that we can have you all for ourselves!”</p><p>Brian laughs wetly, the warmth inside him growing at the feeling of being wanted.</p><p>John approaches him last. Unlike the other two, his expression doesn’t hide the worry and rational fear for their future, for <em>Brian’s</em> future. Being the only one in the group other than Brian who is <em>serious</em> about their academic pursuit, John finds himself at a loss.</p><p>“Brian… Brian, are you sure?”</p><p>Belatedly, John realizes it’s redundant to ask. The decision has been made and it’s no use to second-guess it at this point. John fully expects Brian to tell him this, but those words never came. At the sight of John – their missing piece, their connecting link, and the tipping point of Brian’s sleepless nights of reasoning – Brian feels the last traces of doubt vanishing and is filled with renewed determination.</p><p>“I’m sure,” Brian whispers. “John, I’ve never been so sure about anything else in my life.”</p><p>John gazes at him a moment longer, seemingly absorbing Brian’s stronger faith, before nodding in acceptance and finality of their sealed fate.</p><p>With Roger and Freddie still clinging to him, Brian opens one arm and urgently beckons their youngest closer, as if unable to stand the sight of him alone. John can’t help but smile and follow as Brian secures him in the embrace, relieved that their final slot is finally in place.</p><p><em>Queen</em>, he thinks. Queen works.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Roger can't stop worrying, even after Brian is out of the hospital.</p><p>TW: mentions of Brian's illness.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Roger drags himself out of his bedroom and into the dark of his small living room with an angry huff.</p><p>He doesn’t know what time it is exactly, but he knows it is past midnight and an ungodly hour to be up at. There is a long, heavy weariness weighing on his body, but there is also a stubborn anxiety that’s too persistent for him to able to sleep, having to do with his best friend in the other room.</p><p>Roger sighs and rubs his face tiredly. <em>This is ridiculous</em>.</p><p>Brian was released from the hospital a good six days ago. He spent the first four staying at his parents’ before insisting that he felt well enough, <em>honestly mum,</em> to come back into studio and start catching up with all the work he had missed. Still, Brian’s spending more energy than anyone in a recovery period should, so Roger is just a little bit anxious.</p><p>He can’t help it, not when he keeps thinking how they all went home from the studio too many hours later than they should have, how Brian should have had at least another week of bed rest, and how Brian looked too pale and exhausted when he came in with Roger to crash here in his flat for the night.</p><p>He’ll just go and quickly check on Brian, Roger decides, partly to make sure he’s alright but also to ease his own mind. He grabs a glass of water and some paracetamol with him, just in case Brian didn’t bring it with him before bed.</p><p>Roger taps on the door – just in case he’s awake, but very lightly to not wake him otherwise – and quietly makes his way inside.</p><p>Brian’s figure is a silhouette under the blanket, only a slit of light from the door casting a soft glow on him. He seems to be sleeping soundly, no sign of restlessness that would usually get Brian in his sleep whenever he is too stressed out during the day. Sure enough, though, there are no medicine on his bedside table – Roger imagines he threw himself straight to bed after his shower.</p><p>So Roger closes the door and quietly shuffles inside, setting down the water and paracetamol on the bedside table. Suddenly overcome with worry, he sits on the edge of the bed and feels Brian’s forehead with his palm. When he is sure that Brian doesn’t have a fever, he allows himself to be washed by relief.</p><p>Roger is about to pull away when Brian sighs and shifts, his eyes fluttering open. It takes a while before he recognizes the shadow. “Rog…?”</p><p>Roger is already cursing himself. He has woken Brian from a much needed sleep, and knowing Brian, if he wakes from the slightest touch on his skin even after a whole day that had surely tired him, he must have <em>just </em>managed some sleep from what must be a recently-returned insomnia.</p><p>The way he thinks into it this far only reminds him of how desperately Roger needs sleep.</p><p>“Hey,” he whispers to Brian, hand smoothing his curls. “Sorry, didn’t mean to wake you.”</p><p>“Mmm, ‘s okay,” Brian slurs. Even in the dark, he can see Roger looks exhausted, sleepless. Brian frowns in concern and automatically scoots over to make room on his bed. He fumbles with the blanket and weakly lifts it in invitation. “You alr’ght? ‘ve you ev’n slept?”</p><p>Roger quirks a smile at his concern, just about to tell Brian he didn’t drop by to sleep here, and that he should leave Brian to get a full night’s rest. However, the space made for him was open and looks <em>warm</em>. He is <em>so </em>exhausted that Roger finds himself crawling and falling into the bed almost immediately with a grateful sigh.</p><p>It’s not as if the boys haven’t done this before. Freddie often sneaked into Roger’s bed for comfort after a nightmare, and Roger is always happy to give him anything he needs for the night. Brian and John often fell asleep in either one of their rooms after spending too many hours together tinkering with the guitar and their beloved amp. It was a habit they all took comfort in when they were young students living out of each other’s wardrobes and pockets. Roger is touched – even now that they’ve come this far, they will still gladly take care of each other.</p><p>“Wha’s wr’ng?” Brian asks, despite the exhaustion that’s obviously weighing on him.</p><p>“Nothing. I just came in to put your medicine,” Roger murmurs as he lies on his side facing Brian and rubs down his arm to reassure him, already feeling guilty for waking and worrying him. “Go back to sleep. ‘s okay.”</p><p>Brian huffs, half exasperated that Roger wouldn’t tell him when it’s clearly costing him precious sleep. He doesn’t say anything. Instead, he shifts to face Roger and wrap an arm around his frame to comfort him.</p><p>Roger lets out an unbidden sigh in relief at the contact. He fits easily into the tight space between his own pillow and Brian’s shoulder. For someone just recovering from a near-death experience, Brian’s hold is gentle yet surprisingly strong around him, and that thought alone is enough to release all the tension between his muscles that Roger didn’t even realize he had been holding in. Brian is rubbing soothing circles on his back and Roger is unashamedly melting into the warm touch. Brian’s chest rises and falls with each breath, and Roger finds himself breathing with the same unfaltering rhythm.</p><p>When Brian feels Roger finally relaxing in his arm, he whispers questioningly, “Bad night?”</p><p>Roger hums. “Couldn’t sleep. Was just gonna check on you.”</p><p>It’s vague as it is, but Brian’s fuzzy brain forces itself to process the words until he realizes what Roger means, explaining why Roger had been so fussy around him lately. The experience in the hospital has left them all out of sorts. Brian doesn’t want to remember, but the memory was still so fresh it was as if they haven’t left the hospital room – Brian still physically and emotionally struggling much more than he let on and Roger still fixed on his bedside, too anxious to leave him for even a second.</p><p>Brian feels warmth in his heart for his best friend worrying about him, but he also feels terrible for putting him in such a state. He’s not worth this, surely.</p><p>“Oh, Rog. I’m alright. Don’t you worry anymore,” Brian murmurs into his hair.</p><p>Roger gives a muffled snort, half gone into sleep and confessing, “Wouldn’t know, would I. You won’t ever tell us when you’re hurting.”</p><p>Brian can’t help but feels a stab of guilt because Roger is right. He needs to be better at it, for the sake of his friend. “Sorry. I’m… I’m tired, but I’m not in pain. Just a little trouble sleeping, but–” Brian cuts himself off with a yawn. “Not anymore, see?”</p><p>Roger pulls away a little to look at him suspiciously for a few seconds. “You tell me if you start getting headaches again or anything.”</p><p>“Yeah. Promise.”</p><p>“Good,” Roger hums, a little more convinced. His body is sinking further and his eyes are drooping, all thoughts of Brian in distress slowly dissolving. “Just g’nna stay here a few more m’nutes, ‘kay?”</p><p>Brian smiles and holds him tighter, fully intent on getting Roger a full night’s sleep. “Okay.”</p><p>“Wake me if I don’t get up.”</p><p>Absolutely not. Brian stroke his hair softly, coaxing him into sleep. “Okay.”</p><p>Roger is dead asleep within seconds, and Brian soon follows suit.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Roger is afraid that one day, his best is not going to be good enough.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“I have an announcement.”</p><p>Roger stands up from where they are all sat around the dining table. <em>Crazy Little Thing Called Love</em> had just hit #2 in the UK charts, and separate from the loud, raucous party they had with the entire crew and management, the four bandmates are throwing themselves a dinner celebration at Roger’s mansion, something a little more homely and intimate.</p><p>“Don’t leave us hanging, then,” John says with a grin.</p><p>Roger glances at Dominique who is sitting next to him, as if asking for confirmation, and Dominique sends him a reassuring smile. Roger nods to himself and takes a breath, before Freddie suddenly interrupts him.</p><p>“Dom!” Freddie gasped. “Are you pregnant?!”</p><p>“Freddie!” Roger complains in annoyance. Dominique is barely holding her burst of laughter.</p><p>“Oh, don’t look so scandalized. I didn’t think it was that far-fetched of a guess going by how much you two–“</p><p>“<em>Freddie</em>!” Roger whines again. Dominique is now well and properly cackling.</p><p>Freddie shrugs and waves him on to continue, but Roger just stands there staring at Freddie in defeat, not continuing. They all stare at each other for a moment more.</p><p>Brian is the one who blinks in realization. “Wait. You <em>are</em> pregnant?”</p><p>“<em>Yes</em>!” Roger says in exasperation, while Dominique is grinning at them in amusement.</p><p>“What!” Freddie exclaims and shoots out of his seat. “Why didn’t you say so!”</p><p>“Because you just said it first!” Roger knows he sounds childish, and now he’s laughing too. “Yes, Dom and I are expecting!”</p><p>“Oh darling, that’s wonderful! Congratulations!” Freddie kisses Dominique on her cheek and wraps Roger in a big hug. There was a small cheer as they all crowded around Roger and Dominique to congratulate them. John pours more wine around the table, happily leaving out Dominique.</p><p>Freddie does the first honor of raising his glass. “To Roger and Dominique, congratulations on repenting from your sins of rock ‘n roll to embrace parenthood and domestic bliss.”</p><p>Roger sticks his tongue at him, and Dominique grins along Freddie with a cheerfully uttered, “Amen!”</p><p>John goes next. “To Rog, who will soon welcome his first child… and to Dom, who will soon welcome her second.”</p><p>Dominique laughs heartily at that, joined by everyone else but Roger who takes a few seconds before he catches on that he is the referred first child. “Hey!” Roger exclaims, mock-affronted.</p><p>“To Roger,” Brian says as he takes the last turn. “Our best friend and dear brother. We wish you, and Dominique, and your little boy or girl, all the happiness in the world that your family deserves.”</p><p>Freddie coos at him and John playfully whacks the head of messy curls. “You old sap.”</p><p>“Can’t help it.”</p><p>“Thank you, dear,” Dominique says sincerely and leans over to kiss his cheek. “Very sweet of you.”</p><p>Brian smiles and raises his glass. “Cheers.”</p><p>“Cheers!” goes all around the table. Brian looks up and finds Roger looking at him in gratitude, but his eyes hide something like fear and uncertainty. Brian tilts his head, as if asking if something’s wrong. Roger catches his gaze and gives him what he hopes is a reassuring smile.</p><p>Their conversations went for hours, and so the table was already clear of dinner when John reluctantly becomes the first to excuse himself to return home. Dominique leaves the other three at the coffee table, and it was a few more hours before Freddie also takes his leave.</p><p>Brian considers going home soon after, but he knows he can’t really leave before digging into what has been bothering Roger. The two of them enjoy the comfortable silence for a while, before Brian catches Roger’s worried face again from across him.</p><p>“Rog.”</p><p>Roger looks up, realizing he’s been staring at nothing. Brian offers him a sad smile, an unspoken way of telling him that he knows something is wrong. Brian pats the space next to him on the sofa and Roger, with a resigned sigh, moves over to settle there.</p><p>“Can’t keep anything from you, can I,” Roger mutters as he leans into the cushion.</p><p>Brian agrees, “Not really, no.”</p><p>Roger doesn’t look at Brian. He looks to the distance and wraps his arms around himself, as if to protect himself. He admits quietly, “I’m scared, Bri.”</p><p>“Scared of what?”</p><p>Roger <em>does</em> look at him pointedly then, and Brian immediately understands – he means having his first child, balancing his career and his family, being a <em>father</em>.</p><p>“Oh,” Brian says. “It’s perfectly normal to be a little anxious about it. It’s new and unfamiliar, but you’ll get used to it.”</p><p>“I dunno,” Roger muses. “You and John make it look so easy.”</p><p>“It’s not,” Brian assures him. “Well – John’s kind of good at it <em>now </em>that he’s got three, but you know he had just as much to learn at first, being that young.”</p><p>Roger nods. He forgets sometimes that John is the youngest of them because of how wise and dependable he is as a friend.</p><p>“As for me… well, I’m not that good,” Brian admits, looking down to fiddle with the edges of his shirt. “I should be a lot better. I <em>should.</em> Chrissie’s done a fantastic job and I’m…” Brian trails off with a sigh.</p><p>“I think you’re doing great,” Roger says, remembering how Brian carries around little Jimmy along with Chrissie on their tour in Japan only a few months ago. He knows Brian and Chrissie don’t always get along, but they always seem to make it work for the best interest of their son.</p><p>Brian shakes his head with a smile. “I’m still learning. I think I’ll always be learning. There’s no manual book for this kind of thing, Rog. You just do your best and power through.”</p><p>Roger remains unconvinced. He thinks about how greatly affected he was growing up in what wasn’t exactly a model household, how he still doesn’t believe in marriage as anything more than a social construct, and how he couldn’t possibly carry a partner, a child, and a touring career solely with the strength of his own heart.</p><p>“And what if my best isn’t good enough?” Roger finds himself asking.</p><p>Brian looks at him sharply. “Don’t say that about yourself. You’re strong-willed to the extent of stubbornness, which means you won’t ever give up easily on your family. You’re one of the most compassionate person I know, which means you’ll always have more than enough love for the people you really care about.”</p><p>Roger has a hard time keeping his lips from wobbling after hearing that. He swallows and blinks the moisture away from his eyes, curling into himself further.</p><p>“Rog,” Brian whispers, reaching to Roger and pulling him tight in a sideways hug to comfort him. “Roger. Rogie.”</p><p>Brian squeezes his shoulder and trails gently up and down his arm. Roger risks a glance at Brian to find him smiling down softly at him and murmuring, “You’re going to be a wonderful dad.”</p><p>The wetness in his eyes spill a little, but Roger is quick to brush it away with a sniff. He leans into Brian and laughs wetly, “God, John’s right, you’re such an old fucking sap.”</p><p>Brian’s laugh rumbles in his chest as he ruffles the blonde hair affectionately. Roger continues to wipe his face and takes a deep breath, determined to compose himself as Brian continues to hold him.</p><p>“I mean it,” Brian says after a while. “And if it ever gets too hard – well, we’re all here for you.”</p><p>Roger lets himself smile and takes Brian’s word for it. If there’s anything he firmly believes in, it’s in the bond between them that makes them all family.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading and please leave kudos and comments!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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